For those of you who don't have children, I'm not sure you can relate to the amount of terror I felt last night when I realized my 12 year old son was missing.

Well, ok, back up.  He wasn't missing missing.  He just wasn't where I thought he would be. 

Damn, I'm confusing myself.

Ok, here's the story.  Gomez called me at 7:00 pm from his friend Dumpy's house and asked if he could go to the movies with Dumpy.  I asked "Will Dumpy's mom be bringing you home after the movie?" and he said yes.  So I let him go.

Gomez is a responsible kid with a good head on his shoulders.  I've tried very hard to teach him right from wrong and honestly he's been a dream kid to raise.  Now granted, he's only 12, will be 13 in three weeks, so he's bound to pull some bonehead stunts.  He doesn't always think things all the way through.

Case in point.  He didn't think things all the way through last night and tell me that after they movie they'd be taking Dumpy's girlfriend home to another close-by town. 

Now, where he got totally irresponsible, or deceitful actually, was letting me assume that Dumpy's mom was taking them.  When he found out he didn't say "Hey Mom, Dumpy's cousin is going to be taking us and dropping us off, then will come get us, drive us to Nearby Town, and then bring me home."

THAT would have gotten him a whole different answer than "yes" and he knew it.  He even confessed that that's why he didn't tell me.

I keep telling the boys "Don't lie to me.  I will find out and it will cost you dearly.  You can't possibly try to pull something that I didn't consider or know about when I was your age.  It won't work."

Anyway, imagine my surprise when Dumpy's mom shows up here about the time I thought she'd be dropping Gomez off - except she was coming to pick up Dumpy. 

Umm.

WTF?

We finally pieced together what had happened and both of us waited to put the fear of God and Mom into our sons.

What caused the major delay, resulting in Gomez not getting home until after 10:30, was the fact that Our Town is doing major construction work on one of the overpasses for the interstate.  They do work at night when the traffic is considerably less.  There were two overpasses and one has been taken down, resulting in one lane of traffic each way on a major interstate that runs along the edge of town.

Since they were doing work on the overpass the road that runs under the overpass (the only road that allows you into town from that particular theater the boys were at) was blocked.  They were routing all inbound traffic onto the Interstate.  Once that happens you have to drive 20 miles west of town before you can exit and circle back. 

Even at that time of night the traffic is heavy because that's when all the big trucks are out.  It's even worse now that we're down to one lane each way. 

So that's where he was - taking Dumpy's girlfriend home, then stuck on the damn Interstate for almost an hour.  No one in the car had a cell phone.  Gomez had left his home.

That won't be happening again.  He's been instructed to carry that phone with him anytime he goes out and to make sure it is turned on.

So, for lying to me about who was taking him, he got grounded for a week.  He has to do extra chores around the house and he misses out on a surprise camping/fishing trip with his Dad and brother this weekend. 

I have to admit that I'm extremely proud of him in the way he handled it.  He's taking his punishment like a man.  He admitted that he messed up and that he deserves the punishment that he got.

Dumpy, on the other hand, has actually blamed Gomez for Dumpy getting into trouble.  This is really rich considering that Dumpy flat out lied about where he was.  He'd left a note for his mom saying he was over here.  At least I knew where my kid was.  My kid just got caught up in a situation that he couldn't control (stuck on the interstate in traffic).

I did not-so-subtlely point out to Gomez that Dumpy's behavior regarding the blame game showed Gomez what kind of friend Dumpy is.

---

Wow, I started out intending to write about the emotions I was going through during all this but this entry just kind of took off on it's own.  LOL

Plainly put - I was terrified.  I was scared to death, while trying to maintain my grip on things and not overreact, but damn it's so hard not to when you don't know where your kid is.  Especially when kids are getting grabbed right off the street in broad daylight.  Boys aren't any safer than girls. 

I couldn't sleep last night, even though I knew he was home safe.  My brain just couldn't let go of the morbid thoughts.  Probably because I kept trying to repress them while I was waiting and they just burst forth after the adrenaline rush was over.

I was tired, god was I tired.  Bone weary tired.  My brain just wouldn't shut up.

I must have hugged him 30 times between the time he walked in and the time he went to bed last night.  I even got up a few times during the night just to go look at him sleeping, as if to reassure myself that he was home safe. 

There's got to be a special place in heaven for Moms. 

Last night convinced me that we deserve one.

Read all the way to the end

Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction.
Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.
A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.
Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?
A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.
Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?
A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right before the 2004 election.
Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
A: To use them in a war, silly.
Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?
A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.
Q: That doesn't make sense. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons with which they could have fought back?
A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.
Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.
A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.
Q: And what was that?
A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.
Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?
A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.
Q: Kind of like what they do in China?
A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.
Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
A: Right.
Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.
Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?
A: I told you, China is different.
Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?
A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is Communist.
Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.
Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?
A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.
Q: Like in Iraq?
A: Exactly.
Q: And like in China, too?
A: I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.
Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?
A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us.
Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?
A: Don't be a smart-ass.
Q: I didn't think I was being one.
A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.
Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?
A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a legitimate leader anyway.
Q: What's a military coup?
A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.
Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?
A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.
Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?
A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.
Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?
A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.
Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?
A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.
Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men - fifteen of them Saudi Arabians - hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings in New York and Washington, killing 3,000 innocent people.
Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.
Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people's heads and hands?
A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.
Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?
A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.
Q: Fighting drugs?
A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.
Q: How did they do such a good job?
A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.
Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for other reasons?
A: Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for stealing bread.
Q: Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?
A: That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.
Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?
A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.
Q: What's the difference?
A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers.
Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.
A: Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.
Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.
A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.
Q: Who trained them?
A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.
Q: Was he from Afghanistan?
A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.
Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.
A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.
Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?
A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.
Q: So the Soviets - I mean, the Russians - are now our friends?
A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.
Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?
A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.
Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what we want them to do?
A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.
Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
A: Well, yeah. For a while.
Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.
Q: Why did that make him our friend?
A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.
Q: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.
Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?
A: Most of the time, yes.
Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?
A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.
Q: Why?
A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a godless unAmerican Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?
Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
A: Yes.
Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?
A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.
Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?
A: Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.
Q: Good night, Daddy.