I did it!!!!! I confronted one of my biggest demons and I
kicked ass!
Gomez had called his Dad last night and I asked to talk to him after they got done. I inquired, once again (this is getting to be a weekly thing), as to if and when he mailed the child support check, seeing as how I haven't gotten it yet.
He said "It's in the mail", very defensively.
I pushed "Good. When did you send it tho?"
Him - "Monday or Tuesday"
Me - "M'kay"
Then about an hour later he calls back and all hell broke loose. It just wasn't the kind X was expecting. *grin*
Him - Listen, why are you busting my balls about the child support checks? It's not like I don't pay them. I'm getting tired of you harrassing me about them. (All I do is call and ask "Did you send it? When?" and the only reason I do this is because he's forgotten on more than one occasion and I need to know when to expect it so I can do my budgeting)
Me - Because you've forgotten before. Remember the times when I've called and asked and you nervously laugh and said "I didn't get it in the mail until Thursday"?
Him - I'm supposed to pay it each week and I pay it each week.
Me - You're supposed to pay it on Friday of each week, that was our agreement.
Him - It doesn't say in the divorce decree that the check has to be written on Friday, specifically. It just says "weekly".
Me <----- seeing my chance to get Froggy and jump - pauses a moment to try to get nerves steady, although I was shaking like a leaf - "Hmm, you sure know that divorce decree very well, don't you?"
Him - *smugly* Yes I do.
Me - Ok. Fine. You want to go letter by letter of the decree, nothing more nothing less, we'll do it that way.
Him - *backpedal fit commencing* Well ... uh ... not necessarily
See, at this point he realized that he stupidly stepped right into the middle of something he's not going to like but can't do a damn thing about -- and can't blame anyone but himself for getting there.
Me - No no, we'll do it your way. I went back and read over those papers, at your suggestion when we were dealing with the Dental Insurance issue. Guess what I found. I found that you are to pay child support each week, every week --- Regardless of whether the kids are with you or with me.
Him - Uhhh
Me - What that means is that all those weeks they kids are with you that you haven't been paying me child support - 6 weeks in the summer, a week for spring break, a week at Christmas. etc - those weeks are history. I'll be expecting child support checks those weeks.
SILENCE AS X'S WORLD IMPLODES
Him - Oh.
Then I went on to explain exactly why I call him asking about the check and make him admit that all I've asked, time and time again mind you, is just that if he's going to be late for him to please just call me and let me know so I can adjust my budgeting and bill paying.
That's all - Just let me know if the check will be a few days late.
Nothing bitchy about that, right?
We went on to discuss a few more things, but all in all the conversation from my perspective was a slammin' success.
He came storming in ready to blast me and he slunk out with his tail between his legs.
Score one for the good guys. It was sweet justice for me, as well as a case of finally growing some brass ovaries and standing up to what my mind perceived as a monster for many many years. I've had the above conversation with him in my mind, on my diary, in IM with friends, over and over again for the past few years. It felt really great to be able to actually have it, to get it off my chest and off my shoulders.
Moral of the story: Don't fuck with a mother who's protecting her kids.
In other, more fun news:
Right now he's at an end of school party for the band members. Later this evening he and I will meet Pops, Granny and Kimo, who spent last night with them, at Cracker Barrell for a birthday dinner.
Yeah, the same Cracker Barrel as
before.
Kinda makes one want to eat before going. Just in case, yanno.
LOL That's it for today. I've got an hour to spare before having to go pick up Gomez so I think I'll use it to take a nap.
Until next time-
bisa
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