I am numb.  My mind doesn't want to process the death of Nicholas Berg.

I know we've lost way too many Americans, both military and civilian in this war.  Mr. Berg certainly isn't the first and most probably won't be the last.

I can't help but think that the manner of his death, the circumstances surrounding it, were fueled by what our own military personal have been doing to prisoners of war.  I firmly believe it's retaliation.

Would the loss be felt any less by his family had his execution not been video taped and actually put on the damn internet for anyone to download and watch?  I doubt it.  It's the outrage of having something like that made public.  Forgive me, my mind is numb and words, which usually give me a hard time anyway, aren't flowing well at all right now.

I have seen my share of death and it seems that above all most people hold to the opinion of "If I'm going to die, let it be a dignified death."

I was working on some graphics earlier and had worked up an American flag and Bald Eagle to use on a Memorial Day stationary.  The more I worked on it, the more I noticed that I was developing this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I couldn't put my finger on exactly why for a while, then it kind of just came to me.

I'm so deeply ashamed of what our soldiers (and I really hate using the term "our" in this case) have inflicted on the Prisoners of War.  Their behavior completely negates what we, as Americans, hold near and dear to our hearts - basic human rights. 

"Humane treatment" is our battlecry.  Hell, we get all up in arms whenever we see someone's civil rights being abused.  Isn't one of the reasons we are in Iraq to end forever the dehumanizing and torturous mutilations by Saddam and his people?  I may be wrong, quite frequently I am, but damn, I swear that was one of the reasons given.  Maybe it was just a good "sound bite" for the American people by our 'leaders". 

God, I use the term leaders very loosely.

Look, I'm proud of America, and I'm proud of our troops.  I know our system here isn't perfect, but it's a damn site better than a lot of places.  I respect and honor the basic principals of our beliefs, however varied they may be at times.

I'm just tragically disgusted to be associated with some of our troops and our leaders.

Maybe the filmed beheading of Mr. Berg would have happened regardless of the media storm of the treatment of the POW's - who knows.  It's entirely possible - but I still can't help but think that there's a slim chance that it wouldn't have.  Hell, it's completely possible that Mr. Berg, a civilian businessman, would never have been executed if not for that.  Who knows?

I'm rambling because I'm stunned. 

I'm scared.  I'm scared for our people over there and I'm scared for our people HERE too.  Nothing seems to be getting better.  There's no progress.  There's no resolution.  It just seems, to me, that it's going to be getting worse and worse and worse. 

Granted, I'm not the most politically minded person.  I'm very naive in the ways of politics and the world powers.  I'm the first one to admit it.  I'm not writing to convince people one way or the other.  I'm just voicing my concerns and documenting my feelings.

• It's wrong for us to be there.
• It's wrong what our soldiers did to the POW's and in my opinion some major housecleaning needs to be done, with anyone remotely connected to the incidents being held 100% accountable.
• It's wrong for Mr. Berg's death to have happened and to have happened as it did, being publicized as it was.  It's disrespectful of his final moments and of his family.  That means you too, CNN, for providing the link for people to actually watch the execution.
• The American people are being lied to - either that or the powers that be are being lied to and are totally clueless.  I'm not sure both aren't happening.  I'm not comfortable with either.
• I think it's total bullshit that we couldn't nab Saddam any sooner than we did. 
• I believe this war is being kept going for someone's profit.  Money.  Period.
• Who does the US think it is anyway?  Some friggen hall monitor or super hero to go in and "rescue" oppressed people.  Umm hello? What if they people don't want to be rescued?  Don't we have enough problems here at home to deal with?
• Why are we there?? What is the purpose?  I've never heard a satisfactory answer yet.
• I know we can't walk away.  We walked away before and didn't finish the job back in the Gulf War.  Look where it got us.
• I absolutely cannot believe that I'm worried about and writing about a War.  It just doesn't seem possible, although I know logically that it's a cold hard fact.  It just seems surreal to me.
• As a species, humans are rapidly devolving and we're doing it all ourselves.
• What are my sons going to have to face as they get older?
• What is the US going to do about Mr. Berg's publicized execution, and do we have the right to be indignant over it.  I think we do, but the thought of retaliation doesn't ease my mind.  Remember, in order for us to retaliate it's going to mean risking more of our troops.  Troops are PEOPLE!  How many people will die in this game of "one-up-manship"?
• God help us all.

Again, I'm not writing this to convince, sway or even debate anyone.  In fact, I refuse to debate anyone.  I'm just one more very concerned person who is asking questions that probably never ever will be answered.

It's my blog.  The place where I write things that I want to remember so that I can look back later and know where my mind was and what was going on in my life at a given point in time. 

Right now, friends, my mind has been blown.

Sis - I just want MPH to come home. I am so scared he's not coming home, that he's going to be another statistic of the war and come home in a pine box.

I burst into tears when I saw the video of Nicholas Berg, and I haven't stopped crying since.

This is vietnam all over again.

You know I have been thinking about what you wrote, it was a good post:

"What is the US going to do about Mr. Berg's publicized execution, and do we
have the right to be indignant over it. I think we do, but the
thought of retaliation doesn't ease my mind. Remember, in order
for us to retaliate it's going to mean risking more of our
troops. Troops are PEOPLE! How many people will die in this
game of "one-up-manship"?"

What keeps running through my head -- what if this were one of your sons, or my sons, or husband, or partner, or brother, or father that had been publicly executed. I know for me, I'd want blood. And call me mean for wanting blood, but if someone were to kill one of my own, I just know how I'd feel.

I don't know the answer in regards to what should be done about that. But something should be done.

That was one of the best post on the subject I've seen so far, anywhere. I think we've gotten into a cycle of violence that will be incredibly hard to get out of and the innocents are always the ones who suffer for it.
I'll pray for a good ending, and hope it's soon.
Again, wonderful post.

Doesn't anybody get it? Muslims are people too. They beheaded this poor innocent American because they are retaliating for countless indignities and deaths that (yes... read it and weep) America IS responsible for.
We're not the ONLY people who strike back when we're attacked.
The tragedy of the entire IRAQ War is that our leaders lacked the foresight and wisdom to find a more viable way to solve this problem. They literally licked their lips at the opportunity to go in there guns blazing... and Nick Berg is only the beginning of how we are all going to reap what our leaders have sowned.
He was innocent. Our leaders are not. They will wring their hands and make threats and bluster while changing nothing... and more innocents will die for the Arrogance of the men who make life and death decisions from cozy staterooms with padded carpets. Our leaders haven't made a right call on IRAQ in over a year. Bisa, you're entitled to your concerns. (More to come).

Note to DUBYA...
(What SHOULD be done... what WILL be done.)
The truth is that not nearly enough troops have been committed to do the job in IRAQ. We Won the War... we're miserably Losing the Occupation.
Oh, and Dubya? You can kiss the "Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Iraqi's" goodbye. Have a Plan B? Didn't think so.
Well, you got what you wanted pahdnuh... you got your nifty little war... now what.
WHat you NEED to do, now that you've managed to escalate Muslim fanatacism to a fever pitch, is get SERIOUS about this occupation, roll a TON of troops into IRAQ and CLEAN UP the mess you've made... and QUICK. You wanted to kill Muslims? Boy, you better kill a LOT of 'em now, boy. If you don't, you're going to learn what the Soviets did years ago... this is a no-win scenario.
Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Oh but I forgot, you were snorting coke during history class, weren't ya George.
What WILL you do? The same thing you HAVE been doing. Putting a SPIN on death... and making photo ops in IRAQ.
You thought it was all going to be so simple. BUt then everything IS to you, isn't it.
Too bad about those history classes.
Too bad for ALL of us that you didn't just keep snorting coke.

Appendix to My earlier note to DUBYA.
Oh HELL Yeah... I DO get to throw darts... this is not just another guy switching opinions when things start to go bad.
I was opposed to the whole damn invasion scenario in the first place.
I was convinced that there were OTHER options available that would have done WAY more good in the War on Terror than invading and occupying IRAQ.
I caught hell from all My knee-jerk Patriot friends... hey... I'm a Patriot too. I know you have to fight Fire with Fire... but you don;t have to be STUPID about it.
So, yes... I'm totally entitled to take shots at George now that things have gone sour... because I TOLD him so in the first place... and it really sucks to be right on this one.
But DUBYA deserves all the sh*t that gets thrown at him for IRAQ, because it's going to get a LOT worse. And you can quote Me... I'm on the Record Again.

Reliatation would be kinda dumb, since thats what they claim THEY did the whole beheading thing for.. retaliation for us being there , and for the prison abuse.

If we retaliate, they will retaliate, which will cause us to retaliate, which wil....

wait a minute, that's already happening :